Writer, Speaker, Coach
We live our lives on autopilot much of the time. This means that we are reacting to situations as they develop rather than creating the present and future we want to live. The problem with this approach is that you can get into habits of thought that overtime become increasingly negative. When you constantly see the problems with your job, your relationships, and your home; nothing improves. The next step is either a mental breakdown or a serious physical illness.
For me, the breakdown was invasive breast cancer stage 3 at age 46.
I wish someone would have told me that my negative thinking would make my life worse, not better.
Eleven years ago I was sitting in my oncologist’s office and she was reviewing her treatment plan with me. “We’ll start with 12 chemo therapy sessions offered over 24 weeks. Whatever the chemo doesn’t destroy, the surgeon will remove. Whatever escapes from the surgeon, will be killed by a month of radiation treatments.”
“And then I’ll be well?”
“And then you will have a 65% chance of living 5 more years.”
“That’s not good enough. I’m an A student kind of person. How do I make up the 35% to get to 100%?” I asked.
“I don’t have a prescription for that. It’s up to you,” she said.
I realized that if the finest medical treatments money can buy couldn’t make guarantees, I needed to expand my awareness to include Complementary and Alternative Medicine. I studied hypnotherapy and discovered you can make rapid changes to your mental and physical health and well being. The reason that hypnotherapy works is that it allows you direct access to your internal control room. As you know, you can decide to do just about anything, and as long as you think about it, you can maintain it.
The problem comes when you go back into your normal environment and start doing your regular activities. You experience events that trigger old automatic behaviors. For example, if every time you are criticized you feel empty inside. You eat some chocolate to fill the emptiness. Before long, you will start craving other sugary treats or starchy foods in addition to the chocolate. As a result, you will start putting on weight.
The problem is not that you are doing something to soothe your wounded feelings, the problem is that you are using an addictive coping mechanism rather than solving the underlying problem. When you work with a me, we will not just put a happy face on a gas gauge that is pointing at E. We will also identify the positive change you want to make, and the action you need to take in order to make the change happen.